Are you serious?

So since I started this blog....like it was that long ago :) ...I have been thinking about what I want to write about. So many great discussions with my dear friends and family...all with some amazing topics but the other night I figured out what I was going to write about next. Baby daddies! Ok, don't get me wrong....there are some amazing men out there and even more so ones that step up and go above and beyond. Part of this post will be venting...yea cause I have to do that sometimes...but also because I feel like I need to give a slight background before I can really start the discussion/thought process. 

As I have mentioned before I am a single woman with a 5-year-old son. Obviously there was a man at one point because babies don't make themselves. My son's father and I are no longer together...and frankly never will be. That is a entirely different discussion that may or may not be revealed at some later point...I really don't want to slam my ex because it is not healthy for me nor my son. Back to point! Understand, we have been separated for just over 2 years. We have not lived together for 2 years. A majority of that 2 years....my son has been with me. My ex has stepped up here and there with rotating schedules and what not - but again - a majority of the time he has been with me. Now, I am not one of those women that try and keep the kid(s) out of spite. I am a dedicated mother who cannot stand to be away from my son for any indefinite period of time; case in point why my son is with me. Anyways, I have held down two or more jobs over these last couple years to provide for my son. My ex has been in and out of work. I have an amazing support group at home. I honestly don't know where I would be without them.  

My ex recently moved out to Wisconsin for work....recently being sometime between Halloween and middle of Thanksgiving...honestly can't remember...it's the old age I guess...lol. Anyways, he has not been back since. He has spoke to his son on three different occasions with the phone calls totaling up to maybe 6-7 minutes. He does send a little money but it doesn't cover everything! It doesn't even cover the daycare costs for our son. That is not even figuring the rest of the balance of daycare, food, shelter, clothing, medical costs, school supplies, outside activities, toys, etc. Now, I don't expect him to pay for everything but for those that aren't parents....there are a lot of expenses associated with having children. This brings me to the point of the post.... 

The other night he sent me a text and asked me what we were going to do about taxes. I informed him that I was going to be filing by myself. He then asked if I was going to claim our son....ummm yea. Tell me why he followed up that question with one asking if we were going to take turns claiming him....ummm No! If things continue to be as they are now, which they should, because I will continue to have my son with me....why on earth do you think you are doing to claim him. The whole point of claiming a kid is because you have provided for the duration of the previous year. This is not about you or me. This is about him. You can't even take the time out of your busy day to see how he is doing. Don't tell me that I can call you whenever....because I am not! Why should I have to go out of my way to make sure that our son gets the chance to talk with his father. You should be calling me to see if you can talk to him. You don't even text and ask how he is doing! 

So to all the baby daddies out there that are lagging and not taking care of their responsibilities....step off! Don't think you can just pop in whenever you feel it will be convenient for you....because I ain't got time for that. To those baby daddies that try and step up for their kids but get shut down because of the mom's.....shame on those women! It is not about your feelings...it is about the kids. Unless the father to your child(ren) is a risk to the well being of you or them....get the hell of your high horse and stop messing around. When it comes down to it....the kid(s) will be the one that suffers. Lastly, to those men that step up and take on the responsibility of a "father-figure" for a kid that they didn't help produce.....I salute you. It is men like you that give me hope for the future of our society. Being able to look past something in the pursuit of happiness just makes you that much more desirable. 

Needless to say...I know of situations where it is the reverse and it is baby mommas that are lagging or women that have stepped up to help with kids that are not their own. 

So for people everywhere....I know this is going to sound cliché...but the children are our future. Remember that having them is a privilege not a right. Some people shouldn't be parents....while others struggle to feel that joy. Live every moment for the betterment of them and in return you will enjoy the luxuries of their happy childhood.